I Needed To Be Heard

QUOTE OF THE DAY
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.
-Harvey Fierstein

When I was a young girl, I had huge self-esteem issues. My older brother used to tell me how fat and ugly I was, at least once a day. I remember once when he thought it was okay to sit on me when I floating in the pool. He called me his personal pool float.

I have had a fear of the water ever since then.

What really traumatized me wasn’t the name calling, or possible drowning, but the brother I looked up to and looked at as my protector, was suddenly my bully.

When his friends came to the house, he did everything he could think of to keep me from being around them. He would start a football game in the backyard and I would always be the one getting tackled. I got to the point where I didn’t want to be anywhere around him.

I also started with some really bad eating habits that has now become labeled as eating disorders.

I wanted to be thin and pretty like the girls he and his friends wanted around them. Eventually, any amount of food had to be cut in half. If I ate more than half, I would force myself to throw up right after the meal.

It wasn’t until one of his friends showed up one afternoon and asked where my brother had been keeping me? I knew this kid since before I had breasts, and he had never talked to me. I rolled my eyes and pointed inside the house, while telling him that my brother was in his room, being punished. Before he walked into the house, he gave me a onceover and announced that I had great legs, and he wished he had noticed me a couple years ago.

I had finally reached the status I wanted, but it gave me no satisfaction because my brother had pushed me aside as his little sister, and I was still in his way.

That was almost fifty years ago. I got over the stigmatism of being the fat kid and getting bullied, but I never got over my need of always wanting to be thinner.

How that turned into my becoming the person I was now, I’m not sure. My husband tells me it is because he knows how beautiful I am regardless of how much I weigh. I think I just gave up because I was told that a grandmother and great grandmother wasn’t meant to be beautiful and thin.

Now, I’m back to wanting to lose weight. As I said before, I’m doing this for me now. I’m not worrying about what my brother thought back then. Before he died he made it quite clear how proud he was of me. The sister’s whom I had always been so envious of for their perfect figures and beautiful faces have told me they were envious of me for my beauty and intelligence. (We each had our own reason for being envious of one another, even though we all look exactly alike.)

I’m wondering if my allowing myself to be bullied by my brother, and even my ex-husband, wasn’t because of my personal inadequacies and fears.

Maybe I’ll need to self analyze myself and delve a bit more into this thought.

In the meantime, I have lost another half pound and I want to thank those of you who are beginning to read my ponderings. I hope you stick around while I continue my journey. Even a friend in a storm is still a friend I would not have met without the storm.

Simple cabbage fry:

1 small head of cabbage, thinly sliced

1 large sweet onion, thinly sliced

2 small zucchini thinly sliced, and washed well. Leave the skin on

2 green apples, sliced and cored, but not peeled.

In 2 Tablespoons of real butter, saute the cabbage and onion until cooked down and slightly tender.

Toss in the thinly sliced apple and heat the apples through.

Toss in the thinly sliced zucchini and allow to cook for five minutes.

Add pink Himalayan salt to taste, hot paprika to taste and pepper.

This makes about four individual servings, or share with your loved ones, unless they hate cabbage as much as my husband. (For him, I throw in some cooked egg noodles, and he is a happy camper.)

Just keep losing, Just kep

QUOTE OF THE DAY
If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake.
-Confucius

So…today is already starting out as a not so great day. I work from home and my deadline has come and gone without finishing.

Last night, I planned on working past midnight to get my work in, but nature was not working with me. About 4PM, we had a storm go through.

In order to understand what I am talking about you need to picture a beautiful mountain top in Pennsylvania. There is only one house per every half mile, and the entire area is natural. Dirt roads…Trees that are standing 30 to 40 feet high. ..Tall oaks and taller pines.

When the wind comes through, it is whipped between the trees. I’m sure you’re getting the picture. We have five trees down in our yard, one down behind the house, and two are lying directly across our driveway and has brought our power lines down.

This morning, I woke up thinking the power would have returned, but nope. It was not to happen, and then it got light enough to look outside. I ran around taking pictures for our insurance company.

I’m going to try to attach a couple of photos. This one is awesome because it looks like a tunnel in the trees, which it is if it weren’t for the power lines running through this.

So…what has this got to do with my losing weight? I have no power and I can’t cook. I don’t have water.

I decided to punt on this one. I grabbed a one quart canning jar with a plastic lid and placed two full scoops of protein powder into the jar. I then put one tablespoon of unsweetened cocoa powder and 2 cups of unsweetened almond milk in. Then I shook it like crazy. It was quite the work out because cocoa powder does not dissolve easily.

I shared the shake with my husband and as he said he had bits of cocoa on his tongue, I was gagging from what was stuck in my throat. But…we had a healthy breakfast.

I am now down 16 pounds and noticing a huge difference in how my everyday clothes fit. At one point in my life I would have cried if I looked at the scale and saw 284.2. I am rejoicing, because every day that number goes down.

Have a wonderful day.

Have you ever been interested in writing a romance novel. Check out this link.

https://prowritingaid.com/romanceweek?afid=7111

Some days you can. Some days you can’t.

“ I really dont think life is about the I-Could-Have-Beens. Life is about the I-Tried-To-Do. I don’t mind the failure but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.” ―Nikki Giovanni

This week has been a bit difficult for me. I would love to sit here and tell you that I had reasons for not making my goal, because I did, but I didn’t.

I have lost twelve pounds in the last two weeks, and this makes me proud.

I did not finish my work which makes me upset, but I am writing.

I have been offered to have one of my books represented, and the marketing will begin in about a month. I’m proud of this. Ellie’s Grand Christmas Wish is one of my favorite books. It is about a small elephant making a big wish to Santa. I wrote it as a welcome to the world gift for my grand-niece.

The bad part is that someone very dear to me contracted Covid last week. It was touch and go for a while, but he is coming along well and will soon be able to get out of the house. I am thankful that he is young and full of vitality, or he wouldn’t have made it. He has a good spirit and I pray he will be fine.

Not to preach, but he had his vaccination and the doctor said that if he hadn’t, because of his heart problems, he would have died. I pray that everyone gets their vaccinations and helps this terrible virus to go away so we don’t lose any other loved ones to Covid-19.

I know this has nothing to do with cheating on my diet, but the rest of this does.

Because of Covid affecting my family, many of my family members are in quarantine.

My niece turns nine on Monday, and today was her birthday party. The only ones in attendance was her parents, her, and my husband and I. It really wasn’t much of a birthday party since there were thirty people invited.

I ate my salad while everyone else had pizza and sloppy Joe’s. When the cake and ice cream came out, my niece was devastated that I wasn’t going to eat cake and ice cream with her.

I took the smallest piece of cake and about a tablespoon of ice cream and smiled while eating it.

She smiled and told me thank you. I couldn’t believe that something as simple as eating cake and ice cream could make a child so happy.

My Sweet Petunia told me that her uncle and I were her favorite people next to her parents.

As much as I felt guilty for eating the cake and ice cream, I was glad I had made her so happy.

Not much more for tonight. I’m going to bed early.

If you’re interested in checking out Ellie’s Grand Christmas Wish, it is available on Amazon, along with my other books.

Have a good night, and remember to leave a comment.

Thank you.

I Need Willpower and a Coke (Diet: Week 2)

QUOTE OF THE DAY
Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.
-Albert Einstein

When it comes to drinking, I want my two cups of coffee in the morning, and water the rest of the day. I guess this is a good thing since I’m not supposed to have much more than water.

Then, the unforgiveable happened. My husband came home with an Italian sub for himself, and a salad for me. I didn’t mind him bringing me a salad, but I saw him place the piece de resistance on the table. He brought a can of Vanilla Coke up from the basement.

I stared at the coke imagining the refreshing feel of the bubbles as they sparkled on my tongue on down my throat. The scent of vanilla was calling my name as the delicate aroma assaulted my nostrils. I could taste the sugary sweet coke as it rolled over my tongue.

My fingers were itching to wrap around the cold can and pull the soda up to my lips.

Just as I was began to reach for the coke, my husband picked it up and chugged half the can in one gulp. He handed me the fresh glass of water he had drawn from the refrigerator, and sat down to eat.

It was at that moment that I found myself praying for more willpower. It was Week 2 of my diet, and I had lost ten pounds. I couldn’t believe I was already fantasizing about food: or coke if I am going to be precise.

I drank my water while closing my eyes and hoping my imagination would trick my taste buds into believing it was a coke. I may have a good imagination, (I write books and articles as a side job.) but it is not good enough to turn water into coke.

I suddenly remembered when I was in fourth grade. You’ve got to remember that I sixty-seven years old, and remembering fourth grade takes me back well over fifty years. However, the incident was traumatic since it got me my first slap in the face I had ever had.

We were taught to not talk back to our elders, but the teacher had pushed too far. We were all given glasses of water and two plain cookies. If someone had told me this was a lesson in how to use your imagination and not just an ordinary snack, I may have played along with the teacher and the rest of the class.

The teacher was going around the room asking everyone what they had to drink. Some were saying kool-aid and giving the flavor. There were different kinds of soda named. One kid even had chocolate milk.

When the teacher came to me, I looked in the glass and said I had water. She told me to use my imagination. I looked in the glass and told her I was imagining being home where I had oreos and milk, and not stuck in this room with a bunch stupid people. She slapped me and told me to get out of the room.

I may not be using my imagination during this diet, but I’ve found a wonderful place that will walk me through the first six weeks. If this works, you’ll know. You’ll be the first person I talk to.

Let me know what you think and drop me a yay or nay. Guess I’m still imagining. LOL

A New Beginning

I stepped on the scale a month ago, and realized I had topped the 300 pound mark. I have always been heavy, but I had never been fat.

The first thing I did was cry, and then I became resolved. I had to find out who Sherry was again.

I could blame my state on Covid 19 as most people and businesses are doing, but that wasn’t the case. I became bored, and eating was the way I chose to ease my pain. I was a writer, but instead of turning to my books and work, I chose food. (As I say to my husband, “I never said I was smart.”)

This didn’t start with Covid 19. I blamed my mom who died in 2018, because I was angry at her for leaving me. She was my best friend and someone I could talk to. My husband is a quiet man and hibernates in his basement. When mom died, I felt alone and lost.

The second happening was when my older sister passed away a year later. She had so much to look forward to. She had a new great-grandson, and her granddaughter was getting married in just a few short weeks. I was angry with her for leaving and not staying around.

At the beginning of Covid 19, my older brother passed away from pneumonia. Because of Covid 19, I couldn’t go to his funeral or memorial service. I felt like he had abandoned me. Then I read a message he left me on Facebook. He told me he loved me and he was proud of me and what I had accomplished, and he wished me Happy Easter. He wrote that he couldn’t wait to read my next book, and he had every one of them in his home library.

My feeling angry with everyone would have ended there, but Covid 19 kept me away from my grandchildren and my children. I was now angry at a virus that was affecting everyone in the world, but I was being selfish and thinking I was the only person on earth who was stranded on an island named; My Home.

Summer 2021 arrived, and the world was outside and seeing people again. I went to Las Vegas with my son while my husband stayed home. He hated travelling. I had the opportunity to meet with my best friend whom I hadn’t seen in more than two decades. We had talked on the phone and chatted through text, but we hadn’t seen each other.

The day I saw him, was at a business meeting. His eyes were shuttered as he looked at me. His once beautiful best friend had gotten fat and old. He didn’t say it, but since he didn’t contact me after that day, I knew his disappointment.

Instead of changing how I looked, I ate even more. This is where the 300 pounds happened. am now on a life journey to get Sherry back. At the time of this writing, I have already been changing my eating habits and I have lost almost ten pounds.

For the next four months, I will be giving my progress every week. I hope you’ll all join me. I’ll give you recipes that are good and healthy, and I’ll give you an update on my progress. I hope that if you feel I need admonishment for my sliding backward or praise for my success, you let me know on my Contact page. I promise to answer everyone as timely as humanly possible.

Somewhere along the line, I will also mention the books I have written and what I am now writing.

Thank you for reading Sherry Writes

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.