I Feel Like I’m Playing a Game

I’m afraid that sometimes you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ’cause you’ll play against you.
-Dr. Seuss

I’m not the type of person who takes a lot of things seriously. I can’t sit around and worry about what could be and try to only worry about what is. I shouldn’t even say worry because I spent too much of my adult life worrying about things I couldn’t change.

My mom used to remind me about the serenity prayer. ‘Grant me the ability to know what cannot be changed., The power to change what can be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.’. On the heels of this bit of wisdom, she also told me to be patient.

To all of this, I would tell her that Patience is a virtue. If I were virtuous, I would be a candidate for sainthood. To be a saint I had to be dead, and I wasn’t ready to die. So F— patience!

I feel like life is little more than a game sometimes, and I don’t know all the rules. If I knew the rules, I would probably be able to lose the weight and keep it off. I wouldn’t need to second guess what is healthy and what is not. (Have you ever noticed how the foods that are the worse for you taste the best and look delicious?)

It is a game that I am only playing by myself.

This is the reason why I hated playing video games. I would lose and get upset. The only person I was playing against myself, and I couldn’t even beat myself. It was a lose/lose situation when you played a game with yourself. You never really won because there was no one to beat. I quit playing games when this realization hit.

I recently realized I was treating my weight loss journey like it was a game. It was becoming a game that only I would lose or win, and I didn’t like that idea.

I need to take this seriously and look at it as a life change. I need to stick with my diet and not look at the beautiful foods, but at the foods, I can make beautiful and still make them healthy.

Thank you for joining me on my journey. I look forward to your comments.

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