Don’t Judge Me

QUOTE OF THE DAY
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
-Charles M. Schulz

Before you say anything, I want you to get your right hand free. If you can honestly say you haven’t done any of this, then comment to me, and I’ll praise you forever because you are closer to Sainthood than anyone I know. I have a feeling, however, that there won’t be very many praises coming from me.

As for the right hand, I want you to mentally raise it when you fit into any of these categories, and I want to hear from you too. It will be so nice to know I’m not the only one who does these things.

I told you that I have an eating disorder. I am also compulsive, and this is where my problem comes in.

I don’t do a lot of shopping because I tend to be an impulse buyer, and one is not enough. Last week, I was in the grocery store. My husband wanted his favorite ice cream. I found his ice cream, but I also saw chocolate marshmallow. If you live in our area, you know that it is almost impossible to pass over Turkey Hill chocolate marshmallow ice cream. It is creamy milk chocolate ice cream with the gooiest of marshmallow swirled all through.

cup of chocolate ice cream decorated with gingerbread heart and chocolate sauce

Instead of buying just a pint (I’ll have to tell you that it didn’t come in a pint), I bought the full carton, which is now about three quarts. (How many of you remember when ice cream came in a half-gallon cardboard container? You could peel the sides, and slice the ice cream.) Within two days, I had the entire container emptied. Raise your hand. I’m sure someone reading this has done it.

I also have a tendency of buying chocolate. Not only do I love Lindt truffles, but I also love Cadbury mini eggs at Easter. I will buy a large bag of these and hide them from my husband. While working at night, I am pulling out a couple candies at a time. Before I know it, the bag is empty, and I feel like a real loser. I had already promised myself I was going to lose weight, but I was gorging myself on chocolate. To top it all off, I had to continue working without anything to eat. Raise your hand. I know you want to.

Full frame background of gourmet handmade praline chocolates with decorative patterns and coatings viewed close up top down

At that point, I think of the seven deadly sins and know that I am definitely guilty of committing at least one of them…Gluttony.

So…I ate my chocolate marshmallow ice cream, and I felt guilty. I got on the scale this morning, and sure enough, it showed me that I had eaten all that ice cream. The weight went up almost two pounds.

I am already downing myself, so I don’t need anyone out there telling me how foolish I am or how I have no willpower because I already know it.

I also know that you are all commiserating with me, and hoping I am able to get back on track.

Next hands-up moment. I bought an outfit that is three sizes smaller than I am now wearing. I know that my husband will think I look sexy as all get out when I put it on. Have you ever bought something too small, as an incentive, and then realized you just ate enough that put a couple of pounds back on the scale? Be honest. I won’t see you. LOL

Not so sexy, but it’s smaller than I normally wear, and it suits my sentiment when I’m in a binging mood.

So… the answer to this quiz isn’t that I have no willpower, but that I am human. I have moments when I am sad or upset or just not feeling as good as I should be, and I use food as my panacea. It makes me feel good for a short time, but my weight loss will make me feel good for the rest of my life.

I’ll get back into it today. I’m feeling better today and not quite as tired as I was yesterday. However, it isn’t quite 8AM and I have already been up for nearly five hours. Maybe I needed sleep and not chocolate marshmallow ice cream? Right!!!!!!!!!!! I WANTED the chocolate ice cream, and I had it, but the guilt trip had me wanting to go back to bad habits. Bulemia wasn’t the answer then, and it isn’t the answer now.

Take care my friends, and check-in with me. Thank you for all the likes, and for following me. Without you, these would be empty words lost in cyberspace.

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