Slippery Situations

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.

It seems a bit odd to start this with a picture of my grandparents. the little kids are my older sister and brother who were taken from us within the last two years. They are missed terribly, but that isn’t why I put this picture up.

I used to look at my grandmother and think that she was the picture of femininity. Even in her seventies, she kept her nails manicured and she watched her weight. She always looked like I thought an older woman should. I wanted to be like her when I grew up.

I keep my nails manicured and I try to watch my weight, but sometimes I fail. The last couple years, I have failed miserably.

I try blaming it on the pandemic and not doing anything but perfecting my cooking skills. I was always a good cook, but I didn’t go overboard with how much of it I was eating.

My husband and I went through some troubling times because of the pandemic, and eating became a panacea. This has left me in a slippery situation where I lose a few pounds and gain one or two back.

I know I need to just keep going and not give up, but sometimes it gets really hard. Over the past two years, just saying ‘to hell with it’ has become an escape. I was sad because my husband and I were always fighting, at least when we were talking that is. My husband didn’t talk to me much because he and I weren’t agreeing on how strictly he was adhering to the Covid rules. I couldn’t even have someone on the porch. He didn’t want anyone within six feet of us even if we were outside and we were wearing masks.

I understand he was trying to protect us and our family, but I wanted to see my children and grandchildren.

I ate as a way to stay calm and basically say to hell with it all. I didn’t care anymore.

Now it is coming back to bite me in the butt. I lost twenty pounds, gained four, and lost one again.

At this rate, I will be eighty before I have lost all my weight. I want to look good for me and feel good for me. I’m tired of being ashamed to be seen by anyone who knows me. I don’t want to be the fat girl again, like I was when in school.

I have a fiftieth class reunion coming up, and I want to look like I did twenty years ago or at least a reasonable facsimile.

So, here I am, being totally honest with you all, and hoping you can share with me on how to break this horrible cycle. I can’t do it all by myself.

Thank you for reading, and keeping me in your thoughts. Everyone who has liked an article or is following me, are always in my thoughts.

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